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on being real
do you all know glennon doyle melton (MEET HER HERE)? she’s amazing. she’s a warrior. i love reading anything she has to say. i wish i could meet her someday, perhaps she’ll google her name and find her way to my blog! she’s real. she’s unashamed. she is glorifying God and speaking truth… “we’re not often permitted to tell the truth in everyday life. there is a small set of words and reactions and pleasantries we are allowed to say, like, “i’m fine, and you?” but we are not supposed to say much of anything else, especially how we are really doing. we find out early that telling the whole…
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refinement
there are seasons of life when we walk through storms. i have learned that it is a beautifully messy process in which God refines us. it’s like being thrown into the fire to burn off the impurities only to be pulled out even more beautiful and worthy than before. “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.” (Isaiah 48:10). it is so hard to understand suffering and i don’t try to understand the “why” anymore, instead it makes much more sense to ask “what now.” ten years of watching innocent children suffer and die from a terrible disease taught me…
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dear me
dear me, happy mother’s day, momma. i know you don’t take compliments well but just for this one day, let your guard down and take the praise. you are doing an amazing job. you are raising the most beautiful, spirited, smart, creative, kind, and independent little girl. sometimes when i look at her, i think i’m looking at you. i see how her smile paralyzes you. her busy and bright mind astonishes you. and that sweet, curious, happy little boy, oh i see how he has completely melted your heart. you continue to meet his every need in an instant. i see the way he admires his big sister and…
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“we” is the new “me”
that pretty much sums up motherhood! and i wouldn’t have it any other way, although at times, it highlights my need to care for myself as an individual so i can bring my best to “we.” i look at my mom in amazement knowing what i know now, about how hard this mothering gig is. how it demands selflessness, patience, perseverance, balance, creativity…and so much more. i admire the positivity she exudes about raising three girls and now about her role as grandma. i have never heard her complain about her years raising us and i know for a fact that she didn’t have all the luxuries or support networks…
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mom diaries
i dreamed of being a mom for as long as i can remember. and when we decided it was time to start having children, it couldn’t happen fast enough. i. could. not. wait. to. be. a. mom. i spent many years working with children as a pediatric nurse. i worked with kiddos that needed so much attention and patience, kids battling chronic and life threatening diseases. i thrived as i cared for them physically, emotionally, spiritually and dealt with their family needs as well. there couldn’t have been a better fit; despite my crazy over emotional, cry at the drop of a hat, heart. for some reason, i was made…
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storms
life has thrown me a curve ball and i find myself questioning what the future holds. i remind myself of the circumstances i’ve seen. the things i saw when i was on the “front lines.” the horrifying times i walked other families through. so all i can do is thank my mighty God that these stormy seas i find myself in are not THOSE storms. because once you’ve seen courageous warriors get through the worst of the worst, you know you will find the strength to get through any storm. i wake each day searching for the words to speak to God. i fight back tears almost every time someone…
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a better me
i’ve replayed the conversations i have had the most over the past few months and i hear complaining. ugh that is not me! well it’s not who i want to be. i am anxious, high drama, nervous and stressed when things are tough. i have been complaining so much lately about my lack of sleep and worse my parenting #fail for not being able to get rad to sleep for very long at night. woe to me. I’M GOING TO BLINK AND HE WILL BE GROWN UP. why am i not joyfully embracing the moments that stand still in his nursery? why am i not thanking God for the extra…
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fancy yoga pants
i thought i’d have this kid thing down after three years of raising gracie, the most spirited, energetic, independent little being i have ever known. whew! her infancy was exhausting, lots of crying, not much sleeping and more crying. but once we figured out a routine and once she learned how to sleep, she became a happy happy child. she did great with routine so we ran with it and kept her days structured. she’s one of those kids that gets more wound up and energetic the more tired she gets. she’s not one to curl up on the couch and confess that she’s tired. no, instead she’s doing cartwheels…
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end of a chapter…for now
it’s official. i’m pushing pause on my nursing career to stay at home with the kiddos. it’s still surreal to me, this opportunity to stay at home with my babies. the chance to take a breather from a journey that has left so many marks on my soul. to be honest, i am grieving the loss of that identity, the pride that comes with the work i’ve done for so long but i am empty… i am drained from caring for my own family especially since the arrival of rad that i can’t imagine finding the strength to care for those kiddos at the hospital right now like i used…
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celebrating motherhood
i love this post on Huffington Post: STOP CENSORING MOTHERHOOD “Because breasts are normal. Because using breasts for breastfeeding is normal. Because stretch marks are normal. Because body fat is normal. Because lines are normal. Because under-eye shadows are normal… particularly after breaking up with sleep. Because strong arms and big hearts are normal. Because skin is normal. Because motherhood is normal.” this is resonating with my heart more the second time around. my body isn’t “bouncing back” as quickly as it did with gracie and i am OK with that. i’ll take the extra pounds and the imperfections because i have two amazing children that are perfect.
