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#MOMstrong… meet jenny and jacy
a few things i have learned in life seem to translate into every chapter of life and one is that you need a tribe. you need your people that you look up to. those that are honest with you. those that won’t judge. those that will drop everything to be at your side. those that love your children like they are their own. these are your people. in addition to that, i have found it helpful to have people in my life that i look up to. that possess a drive and motivation that i can learn from. welcome to the “#MOMstrong” series. i have chosen some ladies from my…
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national healthcare decision day
my current role as a nurse does not look like what most would imagine. i am no longer studying pediatric cancer research protocols, chasing kiddos racing the hallways on their IV poles, treating critically ill patients with every possible treatment available, urgently transferring a patient to the ICU, running lab work to the lab, sprinting to the blood bank to pick up a vital bag of precious blood to transfuse, arranging make-a-wish trips, making rounds with attending doctors and residents and medical students, calling CODES, throwing parties for “end of treatment” days, and even wheeling a deceased patient to the morgue…well, i guess that image isn’t what anyone would imagine.…
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feeling again
reposting my piece that was originally published on Her View From Home last year... Feeling can be terrifying. It is currently the scariest thing I can think of because of its unpredictable nature. It is no secret that postpartum depression is part of my story. In the spirit of transparency and essentially begging you to step in and help carry this burden, let me share the next part of my journey, years after giving birth. A few months ago I would have naively told you I struggl(ed) with depression. I had been on medication for close to a year. I could take a deep breath, make it through the day without worrying,…
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must haves for the summer car bag
the days are longer, the sno cone stands are open and it’s feeling alot like summer outside which means, we are spending every free minute outside. jumping on our bikes or in the car for spontaneous adventures. we found ourselves at a beautiful park with a lake last weekend on a whim. there was a beautiful sandy beach and the kids jumped right in. we didn’t have swimsuits, towels or backup outfits BUT the joy of the moment and the beauty of the day made up for those details. fast forward to the short but seemingly endless drive home listening to whining; I realized it’s that time of year to…
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postpartum depression: part of my journey
originally published by Her View From Home. thank you for giving a voice and purpose to my battle.. Memories The Milk Holds:My Silent Battle With Depression This milk is long expired and I plan to keep it for a very long time. I realize that it is irresponsible to have wasted precious breast milk and I am sensitive to that; I believe with all of my heart in the benefits of breast milk and the struggles some face to provide that for their children. Hear me out. For me, these two bottles are a symbol of strength. I see them every time I open my freezer and I remember the victories…
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when the water recedes
i recently drove around my little town, weeks after the historic flood from hurricane harvey. the streets were eerily bare except for some city crews cleaning up debris and the occasional citizen gazing at the devastation. the sun has been shining since the storm, the breeze blowing and the temperatures even feeling like fall at times. the days have been beautiful but the scene on the front lines of those affected is still dark with the prospect of light on the horizon unpredictable. all seem to have been forced back to normal life. well, whatever normal means at this point. businesses are scratching their heads trying to figure out how…
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nostalgia
memories have a powerful way of stirring the heart, the soul, the mind. the way a smell can bring you to a precise moment in the past as if it were happening again right now. the way standing in a familiar spot can make your heart rewind ten years. i recently experienced great nostalgia while roaming around a family farm. it is abandoned now, in fact, for sale as of recently, which may be what makes processing these memories so difficult. as i walked through the overgrown grass, covered in mosquitos and sweat, i couldn’t help but remember the many days my sisters, cousin and i played baseball in that…
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valentine’s day
you know that feeling when you have a story that deserves to be heard? to be cherished. like you are holding onto the most precious key that could unlock hope in someone else’s heart? the type of story that some believe only exists in movies. i have been holding onto this story for just over a week; the thought of translating it to readable words overwhelms me….Valentine’s Day. a day that makes me roll my eyes. always has. but not anymore. it now has a new meaning and that is because i had the privilege of watching the truest love story unfold. it didn’t involve roses, or chocolates or teddy bears.…
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what i want my daughter to learn
I joined my kindergartener for lunch and her pal noticed my scrubs, “my mommy is a nurse too. A hospice nurse.” “So am I!” I replied. And my daughter’s eyes lit up as she told me that she has been telling her friends that. It’s like the pride I take in my job rubbed off onto her. Later that day, she asked me what hospice was. I told her the truth. I let her know that I take care of very sick people that are dying. Both of our eyes welled up with tears and she asked me why? I knew in that moment that she wasn’t questioning the work…
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grief
i remember answering phone calls of silence on the other end only to hear the deafening sound of tears. a grieving mom, desperate for answers, wanting help holding onto reality through grieving the loss of her precious daughter. i never knew what to say. i just knew that i was thankful that she chose me to call days and weeks after her great loss. and then there were the phone calls from the grandpa. months and even years after losing his grandson. deep in grief. searching for some sort of connection to his lost love, as if i held the key to some precious memory since i was present when…
