career
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valentine’s day
you know that feeling when you have a story that deserves to be heard? to be cherished. like you are holding onto the most precious key that could unlock hope in someone else’s heart? the type of story that some believe only exists in movies. i have been holding onto this story for just over a week; the thought of translating it to readable words overwhelms me….Valentine’s Day. a day that makes me roll my eyes. always has. but not anymore. it now has a new meaning and that is because i had the privilege of watching the truest love story unfold. it didn’t involve roses, or chocolates or teddy bears.…
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end of a chapter…for now
it’s official. i’m pushing pause on my nursing career to stay at home with the kiddos. it’s still surreal to me, this opportunity to stay at home with my babies. the chance to take a breather from a journey that has left so many marks on my soul. to be honest, i am grieving the loss of that identity, the pride that comes with the work i’ve done for so long but i am empty… i am drained from caring for my own family especially since the arrival of rad that i can’t imagine finding the strength to care for those kiddos at the hospital right now like i used…
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meeting an angel
here’s the story behind this piece of art that changed lives and perhaps even saved one. a remarkable man i know, once asked me a question one day while i was caring for his grandson in the oncology infusion clinic. “marian, do you know why the hospital doors are so wide?” he proceeded to tell me that one night when he was staying in the hospital with his grandson, he had a vision that the nurse who entered their room that night had angel wings and that is why the doors are so wide. you see, i remember those doors at our old hospital that he was speaking of. in…
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hugs
have you ever been hugged so tightly and so sincerely that it caught you off guard? one of those hugs where you felt like you were truly needed and that the other person was going to melt into you? that happened to me the other day by the mother of a dear patient of mine. a mother i have known for years as i have known, cared for and been a friend to her son for many years of his cancer journey. this hug happened the week we were saying goodbye to him. she whispered in my ear the most sincere “thank you” and reminded me that her son “loved…
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nurse’s week
a former patient was the first to wish me a happy nurse’s week. I didn’t even realize that it was nurse’s week until I got his message…I feel like I should be the one thanking him and hundreds of other children for sharing their courage with me, for inspiring me, for teaching me, for showing me what really matters in life, and for SHAPING me into the nurse that I am.
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meeting angels
a friend asked the other day that popular question, “if you could hang out with anyone not living anymore who would it be?” i instantly thought of mother teresa. i have always admired her and her service was a huge influence on my career choice.“give your hands to serve and your hearts to love.” mother teresa. it’s so simple, really, and isn’t that why we are here? i would have loved meeting her and walking through the slums of india with her, touching lepers and learning from her completely selfless heart. the next person was someone who owns a very special part of my heart. a former patient of mine,…
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a walk in my shoes
for some reason, i was thinking about the beginning of my nursing career. it seems like some of my first words out of college were, “hi, my name is marian and i will be your child’s nurse tonight.” i was truly blessed to have a job right out of college and to have THAT job, was an honor. not too long after my first day on the job, these words often came out of my mouth, “the doctors told you that your child has cancer, what questions do you have? let me tell you about the chemotherapy, the side effects, etc…” i was just a kid, it’s hard to believe…
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remembering a special little girl
it’s only appropriate that this entry in written in pink…i don’t even know where to start to attempt to sum up the life of the most amazing 3 year old i’ve ever known. i had the honor and joy of caring for her during illness and later horrific disease that she battled. one would not know the trauma she had to deal with on a daily basis because she often bounced around the hospital with smiles and laughter and hugs…i attribute her incredible attitude, strength, courage, and sheer joy for life to her parents and family members who loved her so well. yesterday, i attended her funeral where hundreds of…
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teenagers
i’ve always loved working with teenagers and have especially cherished the relationships i’ve been able to make with teens that are conquering cancer. they are not only discovering who they are as is normal in their developmental stage but they are thrown with what seem to be at times impossible challenges. with those challenges comes missing school, interrupting friendships, changes in appearance, etc. not to mention the fact that they are faced with a life threatening disease. i recently went to my ten year high school reunion, and although i had a very normal childhood with the most loving family and great friends that i fit in with at school,…