belonging

it’s hard to believe a year has gone by since my last post, though in some ways it has felt painfully longer than that since i have genuinely been able to feel. and express thoughts. and think deeply. my journey in depression continues but as evidenced by words coming to fruition and paint on canvases, i am thankful to have found a better balance with medications.. and life. i never imagined this to be a chronic illness but i will say that speaking of it honestly and openly has blessed me with truly God ordained friendships. did you know that it’s ok to not be ok? oh what a relief! belonging- this word has had a huge impact this last year. it’s something we all long for, right? to feel seen, and heard, cared for and loved. i have found myself filled with gratitude lately as i have gotten to see belonging manifested in really sweet ways. first, in my church family and other friendships… the women who have scooped me up and invited me into their tribe are truly incredible, like each one was hand picked to catch a specific tear, celebrate a joy, carry a burden, encourage… and in return, i feel as though i was perhaps a missing piece in their lives as well. i belong. the kids were at a day camp all summer, complete with songs, group names, inside jokes, stories, team building, new friendships..and they came home each day grinning and counting down the hours until they returned the next day because they felt the comfort, safety and joy of belonging. they were seen, and heard and their presence was anticipated with excitement. they belonged. we pulled out of the parking lot from church the other day and my daughter exclaimed from the backseat, “mom, these are our people. they really get us.” yes, they do and we love them. and we belong. it’s powerful. it’s not a new concept, but i think it’s taken for granted. or maybe avoided because we don’t feel worthy. been there. i am grateful for my kids’ awareness of this and love to see them look outwardly to help others belong as well…such a sweet blessing to experience God’s love so tangibly.

and just for fun…new paintings 🙂