promises

i looked over at her in the glow of the christmas tree, she had her gold microphone in one hand and with the other she beamed with excitement and animation. she demanded everyone’s attention while she sang her favorite song, “she’s in love with the boy.” i watched her as if i was watching my eight year old self that very christmas that i received a cassette tape of the same song. i’m sure i demanded attention and danced around carelessly in the same manner. smiled from ear to ear and giggled with magical excitement. but as all of this unfolded before and in me, i felt empty. i wondered where that little girl in me had gone. sometimes finding it difficult to produce even one smile a day and more commonly fighting back the tears that seem to stem from no place at all.

and then God whispered to me “I have been so so good to you.” indeed. He has. is. and always will be.

emotions and feelings will not wash truth away. they seem to dim it but His promises cannot leave me. i am not empty, in fact, i am full thanks to the Holy Spirit. depression steals from me. the enemy steals even more. lies try to steal the rest. but God is always victorious. period.

i love the promise in Micah 7:19 “you will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” the depths. they are undiscoverable. forever gone. only compassion remains.

Psalm 74:26 “my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever,” and Psalm 91:11 “for He will command his angels concerning me to guard me in all my ways.” when I fail, He doesn’t. ever.

the dancing in me looks different in this season of life. God’s promises remain the same. and for that i rejoice.