storms

life has thrown me a curve ball and i find myself questioning what the future holds. i remind myself of the circumstances i’ve seen. the things i saw when i was on the “front lines.” the horrifying times i walked other families through. so all i can do is thank my mighty God that these stormy seas i find myself in are not THOSE storms. because once you’ve seen courageous warriors get through the worst of the worst, you know you will find the strength to get through any storm. i wake each day searching for the words to speak to God. i fight back tears almost every time someone talks to me. but deep down there is a peace in my soul because i believe in a sovereign God, a merciful God, a healer, a comforter.

this season is humbling. i NEED help from others; more than is comfortable to ask for. i’m SURVIVING on others’ prayers, their compassionate hearts, their encouragement.

as painful as the sting is, there is something sweet about suffering. there is a radical hope that stems from it because if you don’t hope for the pain to go away; hope for the strength to get your feet back underneath you, then you’ll just be stuck. so here i am, HOPEFUL. i can’t afford to be stuck. i have a God i love and serve that deserves my obedience to bring glory to His name DESPITE my circumstances. i have the most precious gifts entrusted to me to love and cherish. i can’t afford to waste a single second because i may miss one of their sweet hugs. i may miss the moment they glance at me and our eyes meet. i may miss one of their smiles that seem to light up the world.

so here’s to life! the good. the bad. the in between. the planned. the surprises. the hurt. the joy. 

putting words on paper is easier said than done but always a good reminder of truth. and although it feels as though i am crumbling at times, i will chose to believe a better me will be built from the rubble. 

“the Lord is my shepherd; i shall not want. he makes me lie down in green pastures. he leads me beside still waters. he restores my soul. he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for you are with me. your rod and your staff, they comfort me. you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and i shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (psalm 23)

(google images)   “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.“  (1 Peter 5:10-11) “so, beloved, though we may have been very much dispirited by reason of the burden of the way, when we get to the end we shall have sweet songs.” (spurgeon)