writing my story

i’ve had the opportunity to read a few books (pictured below) this summer, something i usually don’t enjoy that much but for some reason, i think god was tugging on my heart to slow down and read. these books have been a complete blessing. they have opened my eyes to how our ordinary can be extraordinary. how my daily steps are writing MY story and it’s an incredible privilege to honor god with every step. these books have sparked a passion in me for writing. i do feel convicted a bit that i chose these books over diving into god’s word on most days but they have inspired and urged me to fall deeper in love with jesus, for that i am grateful. 

i’ve always wanted to write a book, especially since the beginning of my career and experiencing the essence of humanity on a daily basis. i don’t even know how to purge the things i’ve witnessed but they are tucked away in my mind and heart and someday i hope to put them on paper for others to experience. i could write about the wedding i was able to attend for one of my patient’s just before his death. or the two kiddos i loved dearly that went to heaven on the same day, two hospital rooms away from each other, after having a dream that their journeys would end together. or the unimaginable determination to survive and to experience life despite horrific suffering and opposition. i haven’t read or seen the fault in our stars or really have any desire to because i live out the real life version every time i walk into those hospital doors. remnants of the real life story ache my heart as i drive around town and see cemeteries where my little heroes are buried.  

and now on this journey of motherhood, my goodness, it’s more than i ever imagined. it’s rich and meaningful. it’s terrifying and exhausting. it’s what i was meant for. 

i didn’t end up in africa as a missionary, which i dreamed of as a young adult but i am still serving and glorifying my great god exactly where i am. it’s amazing how HIS story looks so different from our expectations, wishes and even prayers. and then how HIS story miraculously becomes everything we ever dreamed of. my africa is loving my family radically. my africa is sharing god’s love in compassionately caring for my patients and their desperate families. my africa is raising my child with unhindered love and devotion and doing my best to show her the love of god in every single step i take.