i’m just a nurse

i will never let these words slip out of my mouth again, “i’m just a nurse.” difficult shifts lately have left me reflecting on my job, my career, my calling… you see, your view of a nurse may be what mine was before i considered it as a “real” career option. i used to think nurses were just helpers, they gave meds, they cleaned up patients, they simply did as the doctor asked. while all that is true to some extent, nurses are so much more.
nurses must think critically and be the eyes and ears for the doctor. we must pick up on subtle trends on vitals signs, assessment data, lab values, etc. to catch problems before a patient deteriorates. we are detectives of sort, putting pieces of a large complicated puzzle together.
nurses are masters of time management. they have to figure out how to prioritize tasks while handling curve balls that are thrown into the plan. they have to delegate yet be responsible for the outcomes. nurses are the master of getting things done because there is no other option when it comes to the lives of other people. we have figured out how to be needed in multiple places at once.
nurses are often a sponge for patients, families and coworkers to vent to. we are social workers, chaplains, financial counselors because we just so happen to be the constant face in the room for twelve hours. we relate through compassion to gain trust. nurses risk their own wellbeing for the sake of others. they handle hazardous medications or bodily fluids and risk exposure to communicable diseases.
nurses risk their emotions. i’m often encouraged to separate my work from life but when it comes to stepping into other’s lives, during a time of crisis, spending days/months/years on this journey with them, it is impossible to disconnect and just provide surface care. after all, wouldn’t you NEED to have some sort of personal, trusting relationship with the one who is injecting poisonous chemotherapy into your child’s veins or the one watching your child’s unstable vital signs trusting that they will notify the doctor before it’s too late? wouldn’t you NEED to know that your child’s nurse isn’t just in it for the job but because they are passionate about what they do and about helping your child. wouldn’t you NEED to know that the pain that is ripping your heart in half watching your child suffer is in some way affecting your nurse and urging them to do the most even when it already seems that their care couldn’t get any better? and by being personal I don’t mean crossing any boundaries professionally or personally but just simply being real and present. the most common question i get from my patients’ parents is “do you have kids?” they want me to relate to them and to the absolute heart wrenching pain of having an ill child. yes i do, and i can empathize with you. i’m here to help you advocate for your child. i’m here to be a voice for you and for your child. i can’t imagine what you are going through but i will care for your child as if they were my own. i will support you despite the messy life details that you must deal with while trying to devote more than all of your attention to your child. i understand that life didn’t stand still when your child got sick; i know that there are bills, eviction notices, family illnesses, divorce, work, siblings that still demand your attention. oh that’s where this personal connection comes in…i’m here to be your sponge if you need it.
nurses forfeit what’s comfortable. we hold hands and offer hugs when bad news is delivered. we encourage parents to lay in their child’s bed as they take their last breath. we perform postmortem care and oblige to the religious rituals of families. we help to arrange baptisms, funerals, saying good byes…we certainly weren’t trained for this but we do it because we care. because if that were my child, i would NEED to trust and KNOW the people that are helping me.

to all my friends, family, encouragers and prayer warriors, thank you for letting me sound like a broken record when i speak of how difficult and emotionally draining my job is.

it’s not just a job, it’s a calling. it’s hard but it’s worth suffering for. when it comes down to it, it’s not about me at all, it’s all about the little victims that didn’t have a choice. it’s about looking into the eyes of a tiny being and knowing exactly what they need. it’s about wiping tears from faces and just being present. it’s about using the knowledge and skill i’ve been so blessed with to play a part of a very important team.

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