timing is everything

“timing is everything”…i have to believe it. i want to believe it. really it’s the most tangible thing to hold onto sometimes, a cliche saying that almost everyone uses, based on faith or not. we have continued to pursue adoption through foster care and recently have really felt that it is the calling for our family. we have always wanted to do this and have always desired to adopt but this calling feels so much stronger and the urgency is compelling. we have gotten a few calls and for whatever reason, “the timing just wasn’t right.” well the call last week shook me to the core and has left me grieving a decision we made and wishing i could take control, turn back time and take the call all over again and scream YES. fear has a way of creeping in when the phone rings from our agency, logistics swarm my head and the unconditional love i’m dying to share with these children gets trapped and my fear says “it’s impossible, how can you handle this right now, how will you afford this, what if…” and on and on with the doubt. a wise person challenged me the other day about these dreams/desires/wishes i have about pursuing these children and she encouraged me not to let them become idols. she reminded me that if God placed these desires on my heart, He will honor them in His timing. lesson trying to be learned: be patient. so in this season of waiting well, i have run to my savior and have asked brave requests of Him because i truly believe He is good; i have slowed down to enjoy the moment and the incredible gift of Gracie and Jed; and i am praying for the wisdom of when to say yes!